To the reader:
I have come to the end of my days at
last. I know not for certain when I
shall fall into the long sleep, but I know the occasion is closer than it has
ever been. I have spent these past few
days lying in bed and pondering out the nearest window. YahWeh has been gracious to reveal many
things to me in this life, but one thing I have pondered much of my days has—I
think—been revealed to me by YahWeh at last.
The occasion of which I have been pondering
is not from my own experience, though I will write of it as though it was. For I knew the one who experienced it as David
knew Jonathan. It is nevertheless my aim
to keep the story as preserved as is possible while still maintaining the
facets I hope to convey.
It is with the latter things in mind that I
hope the reader will approach the story.
I will leave the revelation to YahWeh.
- Elisha
I was weary and tormented. It was several days after the happenings at
Mount Carmel; where YahWeh showed His power to the people of Israel. Though the prophets of Ba’al—who encourage
and demand the sacrifice of infants—had been disproven and slaughtered, not all
were rejoicing.
I was at the gates of Jezreel when I
received word from Jezebel, the Queen.
All within me longed to hear that she, the king, and all of their house
had rebuked Ba’al and fallen in worship to YahWeh. It was not so.
“May the gods punish me and do so severely
if I don’t make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow!”
This was the word from Jezebel. She was speaking of the four hundred and
fifty prophets of Ba’al whom I had ordered be slain at the Wadi Kishon just
days before. Her words bred terror in my
veins.
Never has a man lived that was more cruel
and terrifying than the Queen Jezebel. I
had many brethren who were cut down at her command. From this, I knew her words were not given in
vain, so I ran. I know not why the power
of YahWeh at Mount Carmel was so quickly forgotten in my mind, but it was. I ran for several days; not stopping for food
or drink.
My servant accompanied me, but even he at
last grew too weary to carry on; so I left him at Beersheba and persisted: so
great was the fear of Jezebel in my being.
One morning I wandered off the road—hoping to lose any pursuers that I
was certain would be close behind. I
walked aimlessly through the wilderness that day. Always I sought to keep my path straight so
as not to suddenly end up walking towards my enemies. But when food and drink have left the body and
the sun is hot and fear is strong, one’s sense of direction is quickly lost.
It was during this time that I began to
wonder at how any of this had come to pass.
YahWeh had shown his power at Carmel.
Ba’al was routed. Israel was on
its knees before Adonai. I saw no better
course of action than to do to the prophets of Ba’al what they coerced Jezebel to
do to my brothers. Was it not the
justice of YahWeh? Should not the king
and queen of Israel have seen their wrongdoing and repented?
Perhaps it was the heat of the day and the
hunger in my bones, but I was no longer certain.
This uncertainty was the final blow to my
resolve. I lay down under a broom tree
and prayed for death. Had death been
granted, it would not have been so miraculous, considering. At some point I fell asleep.
I was awakened by a most unpleasant
start. A light brighter than that of the
sun was piercing my eyelids. Something
not unlike a human hand touched my shoulder and a deep, ringing voice—I call it
a voice, though voices come from somewhere distinct. This sound came from all around, including,
it seemed, from within myself—commanded me to get up and eat.
I looked first to see if I could find the
one who had awoken me, but I saw none: The brilliant light and ringing voice
vanished as quickly as they had appeared. Instead, I found a few feet away a loaf of
warm, fresh bread and a jug of water.
This was the first time since hearing Jezebel’s message that I thought
of hunger. So I ate, and the effort of
eating was so exhausting that soon I was asleep again. Again the light, hand, and voice came to me,
commanding me to eat.
This time the effort of eating was not
exhausting, and in fact I finished the meal feeling incredibly
invigorated. It occurred to me at this
point that I knew not how long I had been sleeping, and that Jezebel’s men
could have gained significant ground on account of my tarrying.
So I arose and walked for 40 days and 40
nights to the mountain Horeb, where YahWeh first appeared to our father, Moses. This may seem strange to the reader, and
indeed it is strange to me now to think back upon it, but during those 40 days
and nights I took no more food than what was given me under the broom
tree. It was not for lack of availability:
I passed many an edible plant. Rather,
it was for lack of hunger. Because of
this, I thought nothing at all of not eating.
The reader again may find this strange, but think back to the days of
one’s childhood: when did we think of hunger but when we were offered
food?
Nonetheless, I remained in great turmoil
during this long walk. For though I
thought nothing of food, I thought much of everything else. I wondered at the prospect of being cut into
pieces by Jezebel. I wondered at the
might of YahWeh displayed at Mount Carmel, and I wondered at the people of
Israel. Their hearts were swayed by the
terrifying rule of Jezebel when she slaughtered my brethren, and their hearts
were swayed again when YahWeh sent fire from heaven. Would they be swayed when another came to
demand their attentions? Was YahWeh so
different to them from Jezebel? Was His
power not even more terrifying?
It shames me to say that I resented Israel
for much of that journey. My anger for
her grew with each step, and my contempt inflated with each breath.
When at last I arrived at Horeb, I entered
a cave and spent the night.
Again a deep, ringing voice woke me from my
sleep. This time there was no dazzling,
penetrating light.
“What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Believing I held an audience with one from
the heavens, I withheld nothing in my reply.
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God
of Hosts, but the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, torn down Your
altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are looking for me
to take my life.”
It is worth noting here the vanity and
blindness of contempt. I knew of 100
other prophets of YahWeh who were kept hidden and safe from Jezebel by our dear
brother Obadiah. In my anger and pain,
they were blotted from my mind.
“Go out and stand on the mountain in the
Lord’s presence.” The voice replied.
Had I been of sound mind, this command
would have brought great trembling over my being. None have seen the face of YahWeh and
lived. As it was, I remained determined
to plead my case and thought nothing of it. I was making ready to get on my feet when a
terrible wind tore across the face of the mountain. It knocked me to the ground and ripped great
pieces of rock from Horeb’s cliffs. The
falling rocks shook the earth so that I thought for certain the cave would
collapse upon my head.
Then, like the day on Mount Carmel, fire
rained from heaven. The noise and heat
and movement of the three events was so tumultuous and sudden that I believed
it would never end. Indeed it felt like
an eternity until it was over, at which point it seemed only a moment. When it was finished, I lay stunned on the
floor of the cave. For a brief period
the only sound was that of my breath.
The silence was broken by a soft, gentle
whisper. Would that I could tell you
what that whisper said, but as soon as I heard it, it escaped me. All I can recall is immediately rising to my
feet and moving to the entrance of the cave.
Here the voice that woke me came again.
“What are you doing here, Elijah?”
My anger burned like the fire that had
fallen from heaven. Were the angels of
the Lord not listening? Was His council
no different than that of man? I gave my
reply through gritted teeth:
“I have been very zealous for the Lord God
of Hosts. But the Israelites have
abandoned Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with
the sword. I alone am left, and they’re
looking for me to take my life.”
The voice replied by telling me to return
by the way I had come, and gave instructions on what to do when I arrived
there.
The instructions and what became of them
can be read about in the 1st book of Kings at the end of the 19th
chapter. They are not the reason for
which I tell this story.
My rage upon realizing my complaint would
not be heard by YahWeh was so great that I could do naught but stand in
silence. Did Adonai have no
compassion? Would the Lord not hear my
suffering? I ALONE was left! There were none in Israel who would stand for
YahWeh! Not like I would! They had turned
from Ba’al at the sight of the Lord’s power on Carmel yesterday, but they would
turn to some other god tomorrow! The
children of Abraham were like waves in an ocean or wheat in a field! Only I—Elijah the Tishbite—was righteous and
steadfast enough to remain faithful to the Lord of Hosts! I ALONE!!
--
I had been standing and trembling angrily
so long that the moon replaced the sun in the sky. Somewhere in the passage of time while I
stood at the mouth of the cave of Horeb, a stillness came over me. Within that stillness, I again heard a
whisper. Perhaps it was the same soft,
gentle whisper I had heard in the cave hours before. Perhaps not.
Who can discern the ways of the Almighty?
Whichever it was, these words I remember
with clarity, for I had heard them twice before in the deep, ringing voice.
“What are you doing here, Elijah?”
The Lord is great. His wisdom is boundless and everlasting. At last, the Almighty’s question had worked
to examine my soul.
When my heart was weakened and grieved with
the loss of my brothers at the hands of Jezebel
YahWeh remained steadfast and true.
He used his faithful servant Obadiah to
rescue whomever He could.
When my heart was rent with anger and power
at Carmel
YahWeh remained steadfast and true.
He rained fire from heaven to demonstrate
the futility of Ba’al.
When my heart was filled with vengeance and
I ordered the slaughter of the four hundred and fifty prophets
YahWeh remained steadfast and true.
He grieved the continuous bloodshed.
When my heart was overcome with fear and I
fled at the message from Jezebel
YahWeh remained steadfast and true.
He fed me and provided me with shade.
When my heart was blackened and embittered
with hatred for His people
YahWeh remained steadfast and true.
He did not come in the wind. He did not come in the earthquake. He did not come in the fire.
He came in the soft, gentle whisper.
My trembling anger turned to trembling
sobs. I fell on my face, wept before the
Almighty on the face of Horeb, and repented.
When there were no more tears to shed, I stood, turned, and carried out
the instructions of YahWeh.
