Some days are just not your day. Some days you want to throw the TV remote at the TV, and then throw the TV out the window. Some days you want to stop in traffic and sit there because the guy behind you is tailgating you. Some days you want to scream at the top of your lungs until they explode, and then scream some more afterwards. Some days you just want to curl up into a ball and cry. And some days are just simply bad days.
Like today.
Woke up late, had a freezing cold shower, fell down the stairs and bumped my shin, had a horrible breakfast and then couldn't find my toothbrush. Couldn't start the car because the lights had been left on. Had to get a jump start from my grumpy neighbor who I hate. Got stuck in traffic so I was late for work. Got yelled at by my boss for being late. Went to get a coffee but it was cold--drank some anyway. Then the computer wouldn't start. Crawled under the desk to see what was wrong and spilled cold coffee on my back. Jumped in surprise and hit my head on the bottom of my desk which knocked the computer monitor onto the floor. Now the screen's cracked. Got up to go to the washroom and yell. Shirt got caught on the edge of my cubicle and the whole thing fell over. I just walked away. Got in the washroom and realized I forgot to shave. Yelled. Went back to my cubicle and everyone in the office was standing around it. Picked up my cubicle and got on the phone to order a new computer. Put on hold--for five hours. Tried to explain to my boss why I got nothing done today. Got yelled at again. Went to go home and my tire was flat. Called a tow truck. Waited two hours. Got a two-hundred dollar bill for having my tire filled with air. Got stuck in traffic on the way home. Got pulled over by a police officer...
Great. Just what I need on a day like today. A ticket. I hate the awkward spanse of time between the cop pulling you over and then actually getting out of the car to come and talk to you. Seriously, what do they do in there? Must be writing down my license plate number or something, I wasn't even speeding! Did I make an illegal lane change? This guy better give me a warning because I don't even know that I did anything wrong. He must be a new cop, just started a while ago. Stupid beginners. I don't need a ticket right now, I have bills to pay! Looks like another month without my new boat. What an asshole, this cop is taking away my chance to get a boat! I bet he knows it! Whatever, here he comes.
Roll down my window.
"What seems to be the problem officer?" he has a huge grin on his face. Of course he does, he must be having a great day. Asshole.
"Well my friend I was just--oh, my apologies sir."
"I'm sorry?" he is a beginner; friggin idiot...
"No I just thought you were someone else. You have the exact some car as a friend of mine and I wanted to give him a little scare as a joke seeing as its been real slow today. You can be on your way sir, sorry about the confusion." he starts walking back to his car.
"What?" take of my seatbelt: this is the last straw.
"It was all a joke sir you did nothing wrong you be on your wa--okay sir I need you to step back into your car." yea, now he's having a slow day.
"I have had the worst day today, and you expect me to take something like this as okay? I'm stressin out because I can't afford a ticket right now, and you tell me it's a joke?" walking towards the cop, startin to get real sarcastic. Turns out he's the one I'm going to lose it on: "It's people like you, 'officer' who make me so mad." cop pulls out his gun.
I'm standing on the side of a freeway with a gun being pointed at me.
Keep walking towards the cop.
"Sir I need you to calm down and get back into your car."
"You my friend, are a complete asshole."
Jump at the cop, get shot in the leg. Fall over and land near his feet. Cop starts hand-cuffing me, punch him in the face. Get pepper sprayed. Taken to the hospital, then to the station. In excruciating pain the entire time. Told my rights and put into an overnight cell at the station. Call my wife. Explain I've made a total fool of myself. Get my ear rung out by my freaked out wife. Have a sleepless night. Get released and given a court date.
Go Home, have a shower, and call my lawyer.
Yea, some days are just not your day.
