Prioritized Problems

I seem to have stumbled across a problem.  Mind you, it's not a bad problem.  On the contrary, it's quite definitely a good problem.  Some will argue that, "good problem" is a completely contradicting statement, and I'm sure those people will come out with a completely convincing argument.  Good for them.

I like to write.  Someone who doesn't fully understand love might say that I love to write.  Sometimes I say that I love to write.  And whenever I feel an overwhelming plethora of emotions all centered around the same core of emotions start to build up, I do my best to let them out through writing.  Other times I get this tingly energy that travels from my brain to my fingertips, and the moment I sit down to clack away at computer keys it's like an addict getting their fix.  Those are the moments I hear myself saying, "I love to write". 

The problem is, I only get those moments when I've had plenty of quality time with my mind.  Some people call that, 'day dreaming' but I long ago decided that, 'day dreaming' is a prejudice term and so I call it, "thinking".  The problem with thinking is that I need a solid several hours of thinking about similar things in order to even contemplate writing any of it down.  Up until the past 7 months or so, I've had that.

I've had time to sit up until the late hours of the night analyzing grammar and all its silly rules.  I've had time to realize ridiculous paradoxes about writing.  I've had time to talk to myself about the insults hidden in terms such as, "You are a Gentleman and a Scholar".

But lately, I haven't had time.  I haven't had time because I recognized a very simple fact: I love people more than I like to write.  There most certainly are certain people that I certainly love more than certain others, but in general, I love people.  I love spending time with people.  I love laughing with people.  I love being with people.  I love learning from people.

And I've been learning lots.

There was a time in my life when I would have frantically gone to incredible efforts to write about all that I was learning.  I would listen for key phrases and come up with comparably deep metaphors in relation to all my musings, and then place them as neatly as possible on paper sheets and computer screens, hoping that someone else in the world would enjoy them.

It took me a while to learn that I learn much more as a sponge, not a filter.  I learn better when I listen rather than passing the message on.  I learn better when listening to people I love and loving people I love.  So naturally, I've been spending all my free time with people I love instead of writing.

The problem is, I like to write, and it's distracting.