I get this feeling sometimes. I'm not really sure what to call it,
and yet I know several words which perfectly describe it. It's a
feeling that makes me feel as though I can't control it, but all of my
being is perfectly alright with that.
It's a feeling
that only comes once in a while, and even when I don't feel like feeling
this feeling at all, just the memory of it locks my heart in place. It
doesn't overwhelm, but it certainly overtakes. It doesn't force it's
way in, but it is definitely undeniable. It isn't grand, but it is
undoubtedly not in the least bit minute.
It's warm,
bright--but not overbearing--pleasant, calm, content, joyful, beautiful,
and above all; deep. Oh, how very deep. This feeling wells up like a
soft and warm spring flowing from the very basic cores of my soul. It
comes from somewhere greater. Somewhere beyond my own heart and yet so
intimately intertwined with it. This feeling beams--but not too
brightly. This feeling is made of stuff that poets and psalmists have
longed after for years, and yet has been captured in the simplest and
sweetest of lullabies.
Whenever I have set out to
describe this feeling, I have become overwhelmed with what can only be
compared to a sense of unworthiness, as though I am encountering and
digging into something much greater and complex than I or any other
human being shall ever be able to fathom. All I can muster is to
associate it with words such as, "right" and, "beautiful".
Many
will think I am looking to describe the feeling of love, but I, in my
poetic state, feel as though the word never quite does justice to the
feelings I get when I look into the eyes of Jessica Liggins. The word,
"love" does not quite describe the feelings felt when I am privileged to
hear the pure and unadulterated laugh of Jessica Liggins. Nothing
quite does it when I use, "love" to encapsulate how I feel when she
reaches out to hold my hand or places her delicate head on my shoulder.
Perhaps
the word, "falling" flits across my mind, but even still to say,
"falling in love" seems too weak of a phrase. It is possible that I
will never find a perfect word to describe these feelings, but that is
perfectly alright.
For now, I know I feel them sometimes, and if that is all I ever know, I shall be quite content.
